Akatsuki Babies
by NinjaWorldLedgend
Summary: The deadly mercenary force known as the Akatsuki face their greatest mission EVER, there mission: TWIN BABIES! How will these kids turn out being raised by the most deadly ninjas in the world? will the Akatsuki members become great parents/ legal guardians? Will Hidan stop being an asshole! that last ones rhetorical, of course he won't
1. Chapter 1

Akatsuki's Babies

By Me!

I don't own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden, I just own the babies.

**I will give you the ages of the Akatsuki members that I think they're at.**

**Pein (Yahiko): 23**

**Konan: 21**

**Nagato: 23**

**Zetsu: … I really don't have any idea.**

**Itachi: 20**

**Kisame: 22**

**Hidan: 22**

**Kakuzu: 61 (come on now, he's not fooling anybody. Not even trying.)**

**Deidara: 19 (go ahead, give me all kinda of crap. I don't research this at ALL)**

**Tobi/Madara/Obito (omg spoiler… NOT. I knew it was Obito when he was first introduced. Obito not Tobi.): I wanna say… 25. (He and Kakashi are the same age so…)**

**Sasori: 24**

**Orochimaru (yea he's still here, he leaves later.) 32**

**Oh and by the way, they get older. They are this age when the get TEH BABEHS!**

It was a cold and dark night in the Hidden Rain Village; it was also 2:12 in the morning. In a construction field nearby, you can hear the faint cry of a crazed woman.*heheheheheHAHAHA* "My little, small**, HELPLESS, **babies. Soon God, will accept you into heaven, and after I drop you off, your god blessed mother will pull this trigger against her head and take care of the fake god!" she said with a cackle. She walked up to the rumored spot that is said to be the stairway to heaven. "Look babies, Gods angel takes this way to see her master." (That's right fanboys, her master. Imagine what you will. I know I am *thinks dirty thoughts*) She grabbed a paper bomb and put in against the wall. After the smoked cleared, she saw a long stairway. She ran with her ninja skills and chakra control to her feet. "Now little ones you're never going to see me or remember me. Just know I'm doing this because I love you." She said with a crazed smile. With that she pounded on the door and left with a puff of smoke. Thunder startled the newborns and left them crying. The door opens with Puppet Master looking at the bundles of… let just say joy. "Hm, I should just ignore it… screw it." He grabbed the basket that was holding the babies and brought them in. "Let's see, for now I guess I can use some spare puppet parts for a temporary crib." He told himself. Using chakra strings, he put together and crib that would put a nursery to shame. "I didn't think that would work as well as it did. Now let's get you two dried up, you'll catch a cold from the rain drops." He said rubbing them with a towel. "Now, off to bed with you two." he said while putting them in the crib. "Now I have to figure out to do with you two. I'm sorry but I'm not sure we can keep you. I'll find out tomorrow." He said with a frown.

In the Akatsuki Base, at 5: 43 only Konan, Sasori and Itachi were awake to aid the crying twins. "SO SOMEONE JUST LEFT THEM HERE!?" Konan yelled while holding one of the twins. "It seems so." Itachi said while holding the other. "Konan, go wake up Pein and ask what we should do with them." Sasori asked. "Yeah, hold this one." She said giving the small bundle to the Human puppet. She walked to her shared chambers with the man with the Rinnegan eyes. "Pein, wake up." She asked. He rose up immediately. "Konan its 5 in the morning, what's up." He asked. "Uh, well we have… visitors." She said with a comical face. Pein shot out of bed with kunai in hand. "HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET IN, DID SOMEONE LET THEM IN!? He yelled. "Pein, calm down, just come with me and you'll know exactly what the problem is." She said.

…

"So, THAT'S the problem, let me see them." Pein ordered. He grabbed the twins and looked at them very hard. After a long moment he put them in their crib. "So what's the fate of these two?" Itachi asked. "Say hello to our new babies." He said. Konan screamed, "YAY, I always wanted to raise a kid, now I have two." she screamed. "Ok, let's let them nap while we get the other member's and share the news.

The Akatsuki member's sat in the living room waiting for their leader to return for what he called "surprise". "Oi, what the hell do you think it is." Hidan asked. "Maybe a new TV." Kisame wondered. "A new art studio!" Deidara screamed. "A Unicorn!" Tobi yelled. "SHUT UP TOBI!" Deidara yelled. "Some new blood samples." Orochimaru questioned. The whole room went silent. "Anyway, I hope it doesn't cost too much." Kakuzu said. Just then Pein, Konan, Sasori and Itachi walked into the room wheeling in a crib with little people in them. One of them had cold, black, emotionless eyes and the other had bright blue eyes that seemed filled with life. They both were chubby but that's normal with babies.

"OH HELL TO THE FUCKING NO!" Hidan yelled. Konan had a tick mark pop on her head and whacked Hidan's head. "Fuck, what the hell did I-"he was interrupted by Konan beating on him relentlessly. She stopped and held on to the blue eyed baby. "No cursing with babies around." She ordered. "Konan, for once I agree with Hidan, we can't afford these kids." Kakuzu explained. "Oh, really because from these files on your desk, not only can we afford them, but we can also buy TWELVE HOUSES. Kakuzu, now I'm going through the records with you." Pein said. "OH, Tobi wants to keep them, I want to be like a big brother like sempai is my sempai!" Tobi yelled. "And I can show them my art! Maybe they'll understand my art, un." Deidara said. "Ok so we're agreed. Now to give them names!" Konan squealed. "First the boy." Pein ordered.

Tobi: Cake.

Deidara: Bakuhatsu, yeah.

Hidan: Ogama.

Kakuzu: Okane.

Orochimaru: Noroi.

Sasori: Ningyo.

Kisame: Era.

Itachi: Hmm, Masuku?

Pein: Good name Itachi. That's perfect.

Konan: Let's name the girl Hana!

Pein: sure

"And, now for sleeping arrangements. We'll keep them in the same room and switch them from everyone's rooms to the other. Today they'll sleep with me and Konan and tomorrow they'll sleep with Hidan and Kakuzu." Pein said. "Dammit, I don't want these brats in my room!" Konan cracked her knuckles and started punching Hidan until he fainted. "Don't. You. Call my babies! Brats." Everyone including Pein just watched in horror until the beating stopped. "Ok, so who wants breakfast?" she said with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hidan: YOU BASTARD! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THOSE LITLLE SHITS WITH US!?**

**Legends: Dude, easy with the language, YOU HAVE KIDS NOW XD**

***pulls out scythe***

**Hidan: YOU MOTHER FU-**

**Also slight change with the Uchiha massacre and the age of Sasuke. You'll find out the deats later. Oh and the babies are 6 months old. The babies names mean mask and flower.**

"Konan, can you and Itachi go clothes shopping for Masuku and Hana? Pein asked. "Yeah, but why Itachi?" She asked. "Because he's the only person who has any experience with kids." He said. "Hey yeah that's right, don't you have a little brother?" Kisame asked. Itachi shoots a glare. "We don't talk about him." He threaten. "Dude easy, it's been like two months since you put him in an orphanage." Kisame said. "ANYWAY, we should just go shopping now." Itachi said. And with that Itachi and Konan left for their secret mission.

"Let's go to Konoha for the shopping. Amegakure has really depressing clothing stores." Konan suggested. "Fine." Itachi said. They got through the Konoha gates and headed to the shopping district. They went to the nearest baby store (I don't care what they're really called.) and all the mothers were eyeing Itachi with awes and whispering things like "SOOO CUTE!" and "That girl has a wonderful baby daddy." Itachi sighed. 'Women.' He thought.

Meanwhile at the Hideout.

"Pein, why did you decide to keep those kids?" Kakuzu asked. "Now, now Kakuzu. Curiosity killed the cat." "But that's what brought it back." He countered. "Kakuzu, I sense a great future from them for us." Pein admitted. "Greedy, I like it." The zombie said. "Damn right you do."

"OH this would look SUPER CUTE on Hana!" Konan said while holding up a white onesy with a blue flower on it. 'Well… it does suit her well' Itachi thought. "Oh and this for Masuku." She said while holding a plain black onesy. 'Huh, Sasuke had one like that' Itachi thought with a look of sorrow in his eyes. "Ok I think we're done here." Konan said after 3 hours of looking through baby stuff. "Alright, I'll carry the bags." Itachi said grabbing the bags. "Oh aren't you a gentleman." Konan said with a wink. Itachi blushed "I used to help my mom a lot with this stuff." Konan giggles. "Ohh momma's boy huh." "Konan, I don't wanna talk about it." He said with a sad look. Konan's face got serious. "I understand." She said as they walked back to the country that cries nonstop.

"OK, we're back Pein!" Konan announced. "Oh so you are, did you get everything?" He asked. "Trust me, we got EVERYTHING." Itachi said holding a comical large bag of baby clothing and toys. Kakuzu had three heart attack, Hidan tried killing himself (didn't work) Deidara and Sasori were arguing until the bag fell on Deidara. Kisame was laughing at Deidara's misfortune while Tobi kept saying that he's a good boy. "Uh, don't you think that's a bit too much?" Pein asked. "Nothings too much for my BABIES!" she said with a towering pose. "Now let's get them dressed. Little girls shouldn't be wearing only a diaper when theirs boys around. Oh and Hidan and Kakuzu, you guys need to give them baths after they eat in a couple hours." The bluenette said. "WHAT, HELL FUCKING NO! I ain't doin' shit for those demons."

**WAHHHHHHHHH!**

A murderous aura surrounded Konan as she glared dementedly at Hidan.

"My. Babies. Are. Crying… mother instincts tell me to **destroy**the cause and calm them." "E-easy Konan, I'm sorry k. I'll wash them ok? Just. Put. The paper. Away." "C-calm down babe. He said sorry. Hidan said sorry. Hidan said sorry?" Pein said holding the upset mother. "Fine." She said calming down the kids. "NOW LETS DRESS THE BABIES!" she said loudly.

"SOOOOOOOO CUTE!" Konan squealed. Hana was wearing blue booties along with the blue and green flower onesy, while Masuku was wearing a black onesy with the hidden rain symbol on his chest. "Man, Masuku looks kinda depressing un." Deidara said with a funny look. "Shut up, I can tell already that he's going to be a great ninja!" Konan said with a big grin. "What about Hana? Do you want her to be a ninja too?" Kisame asked. "NOOO WAY! I will not my cute Hana be a ninja just so she could be at the hands of _male ninjas_." Everyone looked at Konan with a tired look. "Konan, everyone but you is female, and Hana is going to be a ninja. I need her to be." Pein told her. "NO, I can't let her be a ninja! It's too dangerous!" she cried. "**Konan! I'm not saying this as Pein but… AS GOD I COMMAND THAT THIS CHILD WITH BE A NINJA AND THAT IS FINAL!" **Pein said with intensity.

'Nagato…' she thought.

'Damn' Kisame thought.

'Holy shit.' Hidan thought.

'NOW THAT WAS AN EXPLOSION!' Deidara thought.

'that's something I don't want to last forever." Sasori thought.

'…' Itachi thought.


End file.
